


Dwarves 12 pains of Christmas

by lunawolf8074



Series: dwarf shorts [22]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, Dwarves, Elves, Erebor, Gen, Spiders, Trolls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 12:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5416283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunawolf8074/pseuds/lunawolf8074
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the 12 pains of the journey to reclaim Erebor back from Smaug...sung to the tune of the 12 pains of Christmas by bob Rivers</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dwarves 12 pains of Christmas

A/N: this is sung to the tune of the 12 pains of Christmas by Bob Rivers. This is what happens when you leave me alone with a awake baby at midnight who doesnt want to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Is finding the Hobbit hole

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:  
Dealing with stupid trolls  
And finding that hobbit hole

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
Orc scum  
Dealing with stupid trolls  
And finding that hobbit hole

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
Gotta steal from Smaug  
Orc scum  
Dealing with stupid trolls  
And finding that hobbit hole

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

I forgot my hanky!

Gotts steal from Smaug  
Orc scum  
Dealing with stupid trolls  
And finding that hobbit hole

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:  
Staying with elves  
Oh my allergies!   
I hate that greedy worm!   
Orc scum  
Dealing with stupid trolls!   
And finding that hobbit hole

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Stinking goblins

listen to them sing  
Oh, blasted horse hair!   
gotta steal from Smaug  
Oh, it's Azog!   
I'm tryin' to free these stinking horses!   
And finding that hobbit hole

The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:  
I WANNA ALL THE GOLD IN EREBOR!  
Goblins,   
And what'cha mean "Their songs"! ?  
Bofurs nasty rag! EWWW!  
Oh, having to smell his breath,  
Azog, thought you were dead?  
What, we have nothing to cut with! ?  
And finding that hobbit hole

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
Getting bit by spiders  
DWALIN I WANT ME ARKENSTONE!   
bad singing,   
staying with elves,   
I want another hanky!  
Having to run through Erebor  
Orc scum  
Now why the hell are they hocking lugies! ?  
And finding that hobbit hole

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
Barrel ride down a river  
They' re hairy than us  
FIND IT FOR ME!   
Give me back my sword!   
Staying with elves  
I need a hanky  
Yo Ho, I'm here you fat slug  
Oh geez he doesnt give up!   
One mention of parasites and you argue!   
And finding that hobbit hole

The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
Stone Giants fighting  
Bilbo dont know how to swim  
Now we're in a web  
DWALIN , MAKE THEM GO AWAY!   
Goblins  
He's an elf, I hate him!   
Aint anyone civilized  
Oh, he seriously needs a tic-tac with that breath!   
Who's got the Raid orc killer?  
Great he used me as a tissue!   
And finding that hobbit hole

The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
Listening to Thorin whine!  
Stone Giants fighting,   
Water freezing my butt  
Spider venom  
Waaaaaaaaaaah! BILBO STOLE MY STONE!  
goblins  
Gotta accept their help  
I miss my hankies  
I'm not dealing with him, that's it!   
Shut up, Azog!   
Fine! You're so smart, you get out of this mess!   
And finding the hobbit hole


End file.
